Get Moving on Your Goals!
posted 12/06/02
So you have a dream or a new goal -- but you may not be doing anything about it! Let's talk about how you can increase your motivation, in order to achieve whatever you want.
The number one way to increase your motivation to succeed, whether it's in the job you have now, or in a dream career you'd like to pursue, is this: focus your mind on it. Whatever you focus on expands. This means that the more you think about something, the more likely it is that you'll take action on it. Have you ever thought about something you wanted very much, and had it come to you as if by magic?
Pick a goal off your list -- the one you want the most. Let's go to work on making it happen. First, make sure you have a goal that's very clear and measurable. "I want to be rich" is not a clear and measurable goal, but "I want to earn $100,000 a year by March, 2004," is as clear as you can be.
Make a list of steps that you can take to jump start your goal right now. What's the first thing you'll do to get the ball rolling? These steps don't have to be big -- small steps are just fine. (If you choose steps that are quite difficult, you may be tempted to stop going for your goal.)
Your goal is a living thing -- it can, and will, change through time. As you move along the steps of your goal, you may find that your objective transforms -- and it may end up to be completely different from the first goal you had.
Think about your goal several times a day. Here's a trick: Instead of saying, "I want to earn $100,000 a year," say to yourself, " I now earn 100,000 a year." By doing so you'll train your mind to believe you already have reached your goal.
Watch for the universe (your surroundings) to give you little clues as to how you can begin to realize your objective. If you pay attention, you'll get intuitive feelings or other signs that you can use to make your dream start to happen. Watch for these helpful signs, and use the information as it comes to you.
Don't be discouraged if your goal takes another direction. You may not get exactly what you wanted -- but as the Rolling Stones said so well, you'll get what you need. We don't always know why things happen -- and we don't really need to have that kind of knowledge. As long as you're aware that everything happens for a reason, you'll be able to be flexible as to the outcome of any goal.
Be persistent while you go after your goal. Don't give up just before you reach the top. (However, if a goal becomes blocked time after time, it may be a signal to you that that particular goal is not for you.)
When one door closes, another immediately opens. That's the wisdom of Helen Keller -- and it's true! If you don't achieve the goal you desire, it means that there is an even better opportunity coming your way. The universe works in strange and wonderful ways.
© 2002 Kathy Sanborn
You Can't Put a Price on It
posted 12/02/02
The holidays are already creeping up on us! As we get ready to spend money on presents this year, we may want to take time out to think about what's really of value in our lives.
You can't put a price on a beautiful sunrise, can you? When I look out my California kitchen window and see the glorious colors of pinks, oranges and purples greeting me, I realize that I am receiving a most precious gift -- and it costs me not one cent.
The best gift of all, love, doesn't come packaged for sale. Real love has no price tag, yet its value knows no bounds. We have the opportunity each day to practice loving behavior towards one another -- for free! It is just as easy to give love as it is to be critical or rude. It doesn't cost one dime more to give your best to others, does it? And what you may get back is priceless.
Just like the proverbial ripple in the pool, your actions affect others -- even though you may never see the results. When you allow someone to merge in front of you on the highway, you may not give it a second thought. But maybe you just brightened the other driver's day. Just one act of thoughtfulness can turn a dreary commute into a pleasant experience.
Yes, many of us have lost perhaps small fortunes in the stock market recently. You can't take your moneybags with you after you're gone, though. More money can always be made, but your close relationships, costing nothing, are irreplaceable.
We are the role models to those who follow us. We have to show the children the way in which we want them to live in the world -- with love, compassion, and tolerance. Cost? It's absolutely free. If we choose to do nothing, the cost may be considerable.
© Kathy Sanborn
You Are Making a Difference
posted 11/18/02
With all the upheaval we've seen in the last year or so, from economic challenges to international tensions, it may be easy to forget that you, as an individual, are making a difference in the world.
You make a difference just by being a part of humanity. Remember the movie, It's a Wonderful Life, when Jimmy Stewart's character finds out how the world would have been without him in it? He discovers that his life has been valuable and necessary in order for the world to function according to plan.
You have a unique role to play, no matter what your job or daily activities happen to be. The trick is to put forth the best effort you can to be a positive influence on those around you.
As a role model for others to emulate, you can go far in spreading good cheer and constructive action to those with whom you come into contact each day. By making sure to act with integrity, honesty, and optimism, you will brighten the days of others and your own as well.
One person makes a difference. You are not a speck of dust in the scheme of things - you are just as important as any other individual on the planet, and your actions carry just as much weight.
Once you realize that what you do is crucial to the workings of the world, you will recognize the tremendous power that you wield. Think about it: your smile or thoughtful action can brighten another's day. Then again, your frown or harsh word can deflate a stranger or a friend. That's how much power you have in the world.
When you criticize someone, think about whether you would like those words coming back at you. When you talk about someone behind his back, consider whether you'd appreciate that same kind of behavior. You get the picture: wield your power carefully, because you can do a lot of damage through unkind actions. The good news is you'll be making your own environment considerably brighter and more loving by choosing to be a model of integrity and good character.
© 2002 Kathy Sanborn
Ten Ways to Be Happy in a Hectic World
posted 11/04/02
1) Practice upbeat thinking
If you take care to monitor your thoughts and to delete any negative ones, you'll go far in maintaining a positive point of view. Upbeat thinking requires constant attention to the flow of your mind's output. Without knowing it, you could be letting undue critical, negative, or worry thoughts into your mind-where they will stay unless you train your mind to refuse them. So practice upbeat thinking-and focus only on those thoughts that bring you joy.
2) Take time for meditation
Spend about twenty minutes a day in nature or in a quiet room at home, just allowing your mind to be still. There's nothing more helpful than to be peaceful and calm in serene silence for a while. Especially if you are a person who is ultra sensitive to environmental stimulation, you'll want to rest your mind from the barrage of thought jabber that typically goes through it. Give yourself the tremendous gift of time spent in private contemplation. You'll notice a more joyful outlook as a result.
3) Do only those things that make you happy
If you find yourself choosing activities just because you should do them, and not because you want to do them, you may need to change your approach. You might be filling your schedule with plans and tasks that you really don't feel like doing, but you set about performing them anyway. Because life is meant to be happy and fulfilling, anything that doesn't please you should be removed from your life. Whether it's a job, bad relationship, or too many things to do, you'll have to decide what to get rid of and what to hold onto. If you manage to streamline your life to where you are satisfied in every area, personal and professional, your positive attitude will soar.
4) Associate with other positive people
At work and in your personal life, make sure that you surround yourself with people who are uplifting and optimistic. Enthusiasm is contagious, so do your best to select upbeat friends. On the job, it might not be as easy to control the people around you, but you can avoid those negative individuals by steering clear of them as much as possible. Should the people in your work environment turn out to be too challenging for you to handle day after day, you may have to find another place of employment. One shouldn't have to put up with negativity on a constant basis-it tends to drag even the most positive person down.
5) Choose a fulfilling career
Because your work should provide sustenance for your soul as well as food for your table, it's paramount that you select a job that offers you satisfaction and growth. Your career can be one of excitement, challenge, and service, instead of a lackluster way to pay your bills. The choice is yours to make at any time -- it's never too late to pursue a career path that brings you joy and fulfillment.
6) Treat yourself well
If you don't take care of your own happiness, no one else will. Be sure to buy yourself the luxury items you enjoy, rather than putting off purchases for "some day." You deserve good things in life. Treats don't have to cost a lot, either -- flowers for your table, bubbles for your tub, or that new book you've wanted to read can be acquired for a negligible price and will do much to add pleasure to your day.
7) Believe in your destiny
Your path isn't one of chance, but of purpose. There are no haphazard events in the universe, including the circumstances of your life. You are exactly where you are supposed to be, with one caveat: you have the power to change your circumstances as soon as you decide to do so. You have a special role to fulfill. By listening to your own intuition, you'll be able to determine what you need to do to carry out your destiny. Trusting in your path will open doors to opportunity and success.
8) Know the power of your words
In order to keep conflict to a minimum and understanding to a maximum, practice clear communication skills. First, pay attention to the words that you say, because your words can have a powerful effect on friends and strangers alike. An offhand negative comment can inflict more damage than you may realize, so take care to monitor your words for any possible destructive result. Second, your word is your bond-so don't promise something that you cannot or will not deliver. By saying one thing and doing another, not only will your friends and associates lose faith in your words, but you will lose faith in them as well.
9) Provide the best service
In your work, do your utmost to use your skills in service to others. Whether or not you have clients or customers, at work you are providing a service in some way. Believe it or not, you truly can change the world through your own actions in your immediate environment. Doing your job with integrity and out of a sincere desire to help others will bring back untold rewards. Just the other day, I experienced both ends of the customer service spectrum at two retail stores. In one national chain store, I was ignored, although I needed assistance in finding an item. The customer service personnel were too busy arguing among themselves to pay attention to my needs. I left, deciding never to shop there again. The experience was completely the opposite in the second store -- I was treated with respect, and received the answers I needed from a person with kindness and enthusiasm. The moral of the story is clear: your attitude and the way you deal with the people in your work environment have far-reaching consequences. If you perform your job with a positive outlook and genuine caring, you will be successful and bring joy to others at the same time.
10) Be patient
When it comes to career achievement and personal happiness, you'll do best by practicing patience. In this era of instant gratification, you might have the tendency to expect everything right now, when the universe could have other plans for you. All happens at the proper moment. Do what you can to move your goals along, but stay alert for any adjustments that might be necessary. Let's say your desire is to be in a fulfilling romantic relationship. For you, it would be necessary to be patient as you wait for the partner who feels right according to your intuition. There is no absolute timetable for getting things to happen. It takes as long as it takes, so practice serenity and patience while you wait for the universe to bring you the essence of what you request.
In our upcoming book, The Seasons of Your Career, we'll be discussing more ways you can stay positive and happy in this busy world of ours.
© 2002 Kathy Sanborn
The First Secret for a Soulful Relationship
One of the secrets of establishing a soul union is to accept your partner exactly as she is. Whether short or tall, chubby or slender, your love partner is perfect right now-without any tinkering or adjusting! In our book, Grow Your Own Love: Planting Spiritual Seeds for Fulfilling Relationships (available through Booklocker.com), Wayne and I point out the importance of viewing your partner as a soul, and not simply as a physical being.
We all go through physical transformations in our lifetimes. Some of us go up and down in weight too often than we care to admit; eventually, most of us get some gray hair and facial lines.
Now if you put your focus primarily on the physical part of you, you might be one who forks out a lot of money for the latest surgery or whatever it takes to get rid of any perceived imperfections. Admittedly, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best-personally, I feel better when I take care of my appearance-but if we listen to the advertisers, we get the impression we're not quite right as we are! This brings us to the Secret #1 for a soulful relationship: Accept yourself as perfect-and then do the same for your partner!
When a couple first falls in love, each partner may see the other as the perfect being he or she really is, thanks to the miracle of new romance. As the first bloom of love fades, however, the little "imperfections" in a lover may start to become apparent.
"Imperfections" of the body should not be looked upon as an excuse to deny loving attention, or to be critical. When you can look at your mate and see the beautiful soul that he truly is, instead of noticing those extra pounds around his middle, then you have learned the first secret for a soulful relationship.
© 2001 Kathy Sanborn
Do You Dream of Career Change?
A poll by Reader's Digest came out recently, addressing the level of honesty that exists between married partners. The results of the poll seemed to indicate that there's a lack of openness between partners, especially when it comes to money matters.
But to me, the study's most interesting statistic was the fact that, of the 1,000 baby boomers polled, 41% wanted to start over in a new career! So there's a pretty good chance that you are among those people planning for, and heading toward, career change.
Because your job takes up such a large part of your life, it is vitally important for you to be working in the field you love. If you are just going through the motions at work, you'll know it-and so will everyone else around you! By staying in the wrong job long enough, you run the risk of draining your enthusiasm and energy. Ultimately, your dreams may go by the wayside, as you become mired in the quicksand of a job that sucks you down.
Anything worthwhile may take some time to establish. It's not terribly wise to jettison a job too early, before you have other opportunities in place. If necessary, get career coaching advice from a professional, in order to help you to determine your goals and the steps you'll need to take to accomplish them.
Life is too short to toil away in work that doesn't fulfill you. Take action now to start the process of career change, rather than waiting for some day that will never come. Think of the seventy-five-year-old man, shaking his head in regret because he didn't act on his feelings for career change when he was forty. Don't let time slip away on you!
© 2001 Kathy Sanborn
How to Banish Fear from Your Life-Forever!
Recently, a client of mine asked me how she could get rid of the fearful thoughts that she had on a regular basis. An intelligent and competent person, Joyce (not her real name) suffered from frequent fear and anxiety attacks, over which she felt that she had no control.
I gave her some tips that work wonders-if a person takes the time and energy to practice these techniques. I'm going to share with you those same secrets of how to get rid of fear in your life.
First of all, fear does not originate from your inner wisdom, but from your conscious (ego) mind. This means that your fearful thoughts probably are not based on any reality that may be coming your way; e.g., worrying that a car may run over your dog has no basis in fact.
Worry is a complete waste of mental energy. When a fear thought enters your awareness, realize: 1) It is your rational mind's way of trying to protect you from making what it thinks is a bad choice; and 2) Your lack of faith in a positive outcome is showing!
How do you get rid of those pesky fear thoughts? Thoughts of fear can be banished from your mind by using a few simple, effective techniques. First, acknowledge the thought when it presents itself, and state, "I choose to think only positive thoughts." Second, let the unwanted thought gently be "escorted out" of your mind. Practicing this technique every time an unhelpful thought crosses your awareness will result in a thought process that includes virtually no fear thoughts. Next time, we'll talk about other techniques to keep your thinking constructive and free from fear.
© 2001 Kathy Sanborn
Do You Measure Up?
This past weekend, I happened to be watching a dog competition on a cable network. How cute the dogs were, I thought, as they pranced around for the judges. Their teeth were inspected, and their shapes were matched against the ideal body type for those of their breed. Now, I have nothing negative to say about dog shows -- I know that the handlers and owners put in a lot of time to make sure their pets are in competitive condition. But the thought crossed my mind that a dog show is very similar to what we, as humans, have to go through every time we go out into society. We are judged, not by the beautiful spirit we may have inside of us, but by the attributes we exhibit on the outside.
We women, in particular, are encouraged to feel lacking if our bodies are not model-thin and toned from spending hours in the gym. It's very clever of the advertising people, really -- they try to make you feel as if you're not good enough the way you are, so you'll spend your dollars attempting to perfect yourself in their image! Never mind that many of the models portraying perfection have had plastic surgery, and have had their photos altered by computers in an attempt to sell even more magazines. Still, we try to measure up!
Those of you who've experienced the stress of a job interview are well aware of the importance of your appearance in getting that job. No time is more critical than those first moments of the interview, when you want to appear attractive, enthusiastic, and knowledgeable. The right clothes, the right smile, the right physique -- all of it matters to the person who makes the decision to hire you.
It behooves you to look the part of the polished professional throughout your career, in order to make sure that clients and coworkers take you seriously on the job. But the true measure of your worth is all about what's on the inside -- forget about the outer, superficial package. Are you honest, trustworthy, and hard working? Do you care about other people? Is your ego subdued enough so that it's not "all about you"? Do you think for yourself, or do you let the masses, advertisers, and media make your decisions for you?
These are good questions to ask yourself about the way you operate in the world. Your true value as a human being is in how best you can serve others, and not about how small your waist is, or how fancy your clothes. If you follow a path of service, it doesn't matter which career you choose in order to share your talents -- there's a job that only you can do, and a career that suits your particular skills to a tee. And it doesn't have to matter that you may not be judged top dog of the show.
© 2001-2002 Kathy Sanborn
A Holiday Time of Reflection
written the first holiday season after 9/11
Like so many others, I was glued to my television set the day of the tragedies, and for many days thereafter. Touched and saddened by the real-life stories of survivors and victims, my prayers went out to fellow Americans in New York, Washington, D.C., and Pennsylvania. Although living far away from Ground Zero, I realized that our nation's people were all connected. My local Californians had lost loved ones in the attacks as well.
Because I am a personal growth consultant and career expert, I volunteered my services to those in need of support at this time of turmoil. Millions of Americans did the same, donating blood, money, and supplies straight from their hearts to the families of victims. I've always known that we Americans are a generous people, and our recent disasters proved just how generous.
So as we near the end of 2001, we will celebrate the holidays with a most profound joy, and with a renewed spirit of gratitude for the gift of life itself. We've been reminded of how very mysterious our lives are as well: we've heard about the young woman who was guided out of one of the towers by her deceased grandmother, and we've followed the amazing stories of chance survival by those fortunate enough to tell them.
There is something quite wonderful that has come out of our enormous national tragedies. There is a new sense of service, a renewed dedication to working for positive change. Our young people, who never had experienced war, are feeling perhaps the first stirrings of patriotism. American flags are waving everywhere, on our homes, vehicles, and even our clothes.
The challenge now is to keep that spirit alive, and to go forward into a new day of faith and commitment to growth. We can never forget September 11th. Let's take the lessons we've learned to create an even better nation. And that begins with you, and with me.
© 2001-2002 Kathy Sanborn
A Path of Service
You have many reasons for working, not the least of which is to pay your bills and maybe even put a little something away in the bank for a rainy day. You work because the right job can offer you personal fulfillment, allowing you to use your skills to the fullest.
But there's another reason that you work, and it's the best reason of all.
Whether you're a janitor, professor, or CEO, you can be on a path of service to others. You always have a choice, though -- and your choices include pursuing money for its own sake, or unselfishly sharing your talents with the world.
Chasing the dollar can be a very seductive endeavor. We are inundated with advertisements telling us we are not quite good enough unless we buy the hottest car, latest gadget, or designer fashion. This money merry-go-round doesn't stop until we decide that we won't buy into the advertisers' messages. Thinking for yourself is the key here!
So if money shouldn't be the number one driving force for your success, what is? Following the path of service is the one way you can make a difference in your world.
You are on a path of service if you follow your heart when it tells you to choose a certain career that just "feels right." You are on a path of service when you use your innate abilities in a job that brings you joy, and helps others at the same time. And you are on a path of service if the money flows in with ease.
If you are unhappy in a job, it may be a clue that you are not on a path of service. If you are having a hard time paying your bills, it may be a message that you need to change jobs. Your path of service is not supposed to be a struggle.
Your career dreams are the best method to find your own special path of service. If you have daydreams of becoming a surgeon, for example, but you're presently a construction worker, you may want to reconsider your goals! By listening to your inner wisdom, you'll discover your own personal career path of service. Follow your dreams -- and you'll find your career path to success!
© 2002 Kathy Sanborn
